Weaning Woes

From the very beginning I knew I wanted to breastfeed my daughter for a year. Even with our shaky start, I knew this was a goal I was going to fight to achieve and I did. It was hard as hell but I did it! So when 1 year came around I was ready to start weaning or so I thought.

When you have a baby they tell you how pregnancy will go, how rough labor and postpartum is, they mention the sleepless nights and teething. People have even become more open about breastfeeding and it’s struggles and normalizing feeding however long y’all want. But no one discusses how hard weaning can be… on the mom! So Imma tell you.

My journey may be different from others because my baby goes to daycare so that helps tremendously. I started my weaning journey by ending all my pumping sessions. I still breastfed her but when she wasn’t around I was chilling. My boobs did get engorged but it wasn’t too bad. I started leaking a bit but after a few days that stopped. The hard part started when Yohanna came home from daycare.

For about a week I fed her twice, first thing in the morning and then right before bed. I found her milk alternative which is ripple milk and she took very well to it. But then the teething monster appeared. She ended up getting a mild fever and staying home from daycare and we breastfed all day. What a setback! My hormones were everywhere. Its not as bad as PPD but it feels like not understanding your feelings all over again. It was draining. After that day I made the decision that it was just time to stop. It was not beneficial for me to be all in sometimes and not the other times. I was ready to just be done and she wasn’t actively trying to breastfeed either.

Now when you stop breastfeeding your baby gets extremely clingy to you. It may hurt dad’s feelings but its just something that they go through. I am currently the only person that can put her to sleep for her to sleep through the night. If dad puts her to sleep she wakes up in the middle of the night looking for me. Also a lot of people will say that babies dont need bottles before bed but for us that is how we transitioned. I would give the bottle and let her lay on me while I read her night time story. Now if your used to your baby falling asleep on the boob its not that easy with the bottle. After she finishes the bottle, I give her a couple snuggles I lay her down and within 5-10 mins she sleep.

So boom, we are officially weaned for a couple days but how does the mom feel? I felt like the worst mom in the world, I am just being honest. It was the first time I felt like I couldn't help her. You’re baby is crying and screaming and looking at you and your number one source of comfort is gone. Especially when she got sick a few days later. But every day it gets easier. You are not just a breastfeeding mom you are a mom and you will continue to evolve. But allow your body to go through the hormonal process. Be upset and if you give in here and there it’s ok keep trying. My period did skip a month and I thought I was pregnant because I was having symptoms but im not. Hallelujah! That just shows you how messed up you can be (potentionally). Everybody's body is different and this is just my experience.

Remember never feel like you have to do anything you don’t want to. If you feel like it’s time then it’s time. Create a plan and go for it! You got this mama.